Coaching Dividends

Sometimes when I am unsure whether my children will react in an appropriate way to an upcoming situation, I try to coach them a little bit ahead of time, as to what a good response would be. I let them team up with me to come up with helpful answers, guiding them with my broader experience as they search for what is important.

Let's talk about what might happen and how we should respond, I say. What if X happens? What would be a good thing to do or say? What if Y happens? Would Z be a good way to behave? No.... Let's try to do A, instead. And since it might be hard, let's pray for God to help us do the right thing.

This rehearsal really seems to work well. They are prepared; they have thought ahead of time about what's going on and their reaction. They don't just have to give in to spur-of-the-moment emotions and thoughts, but can take more control of themselves.

Recently I used this technique, and there didn't seem to be any problems for the kids. Then I realized thoughts in myself that needed the coaching! I played over in my mind the things I discussed with them, and applied them to myself and my emotions. I saw that I needed to listen to my own advice. And it helped me too.