Psychosomatic Shivering Session

Last night I awoke around the three o'clock hour, snugly covered with our duvet yet shivering, shaking, chattering my teeth uncontrollably. I had been dreaming all night about selling our house. Something about seeing the "For Sale" sign stuck in our front lawn has hit me hard.

David asked what he could do to help me, and I felt like having his arms wrapped around me would help me to calm down and stop the brain-rattling quaking. He rapidly obliged, and it comforted me and helped me to slow down my breathing and begin to relax. He got me some water, but I was shaking so badly I couldn't drink for several minutes. Eventually I asked if he could sit up with me and keep his arms around me while I tried to drink. It ended up he even held the cup for me while I sipped through the straw, my arms under the covers. He got me some motrin, since the violent vibrations were giving me a headache. I finally was able to go back to sleep.

Psychosomatic, according to answers.com: of, or relating to a disorder having physical symptoms but originating from mental or emotional causes.

Two days ago I spent the entire day from 6:30am until 2am preparing the house for showings/open house. I got so dusty and sweaty I had to take two showers that day. Half our garage is now filled with extraneous furniture and bags of stuff that would have distracted potential buyers from seeing the house for what it is. Then yesterday I spent all day filling out forms related to the sale, and doing ten errands (I'm so thankful our babysitter was available to take the kids bowling so they didn't have to be dragged along).

Okay, so it's not entirely psychosomatic. I have been pushing myself a wee bit hard. At least I've been drinking water and eating bananas, as my mother recommends. Potassium, you know. Good for the legs apparently.

But I do feel the shivering session was related to about four months of waiting for this moment. Of keeping things quiet until it could be public at the office and I could write about what really going on here. Of wondering whether this was really going to happen, this huge international move. Now that that sign is out front, it's so definite. We're out of here. This wonderful house we've lived in for six years, far and away the longest stay anywhere since we married. The only home our daughter remembers. And at the same time, we're in escrow for buying our new home in France. That's a very big step too. And we're sorting through all our stuff and getting rid of things. It's a sort of tearing.

So, what came to me later in the night, to learn from my temporary ailment, is this:

- this is going to be an enormous adjustment (I thought I already knew that, but now it is clearer)
- we will need to wrap our arms around each other until the shivering stops (probably at least the first year...)
- God will be wrapping His arms around us to comfort us, and we need to think about those arms and His nearness
- we need to have compassion on our children as they go through the gamut of emotions resulting from everything changing in their lives, and we need to wrap our arms around them and listen to their feelings with a solicitous heart
- we need to consider abnormal behavior from our kids as possibly being a reaction to all the change, and see through to the root, with love

I think I'm going to go take a soothing bath before attacking my next list of things to do for the day. I appreciate your prayers.