November 10, 2008
Because I Love You
For some reason, this morning I was assailed by lack of motivation, and vague feelings of overwhelm and lack of general hope and direction. I asked God for help (this part is no different than normal).
I was standing at the kitchen sink washing dishes and clearing out the fridge, and I started to think about what I would say if one of my children expressed similar feelings - lack of hope, wondering why they should carry on. This is sure to be coming up at some point in their teenage years, as the hormones and emotions flare and swirl.
I knew immediately what my response would be: Carry on and stick it out because I love you (accompanied by a strong, tight, comforting hug that won't let go). These simple words are so profound in how they embody hope, a reason to live, a sense of worth and wantedness. Value in the estimation of the speaker.
Right after that, I saw the parallel for myself - no matter how I feel at the moment, I can ride it through because God loves me with a neverending Father's love. He holds me tight and tells me to carry on because He loves me. Even if I can't see straight right now, He sees everything clearly and can hold my hope for me until I come out the other end. I am worth something to Him. When I don't know what to do, do the next thing, and wait for clarity to return, calling out to Him.
Lest you worry, everything's "fine" and much more than fine - I am blessed beyond imagining. I do need to get myself more organized and master my To Do List (i.e. make one and tame all those things on bits of paper and at the edges of my mind waiting to be conquered), and continually hand over all my worries to the One who cares and has all the power. Sorry if I'm being all dramatic about "nothing."
Even when all is well, weird emotions can come and go. I'm guessing people mostly just keep quiet about them.
But my Rock doesn't change.
From the ends of the earth I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint;
lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.
November 10, 2008 | Permalink
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Yes, God loves us, unconditionally, and I should live like I know that's true.
Maybe you don't need a to-do list.
Posted by: Martin LaBar | Nov 10, 2008 12:31:41 PM
Thanks, Martin - it's true that I have been surviving without a proper to-do list for a few months now... but I have hopes for more discipline and organization in my life - I guess when the right time comes I will get there. There are seasons for everything...thanks for your continued encouraging comments!
Posted by: Katherine | Nov 10, 2008 1:04:16 PM
You are one of the greatest mothers I ever met. Being a full time mom is tough. I only have been doing it for 9 months and you have been doing it for 14 years! God loves you and we admire your determination, patience and commitment to your family.
Posted by: Jasmine Ting | Nov 12, 2008 8:06:44 AM
Since I have known you all of your life, I have to say that God is the only One on whom you can depend all of the time, day or night, rain or shine, happy or sad, and I am trusting Him to give you the huge hugs I would smother you with if only I were physically with you now. Being responsible is not an easy task, but you do it so well, in so many different areas. Let Him love you with those everlasting arms! Christmas is coming! Mom, less organized than you, but making an effort!
Posted by: Patricia | Nov 12, 2008 5:54:23 PM
I always love reading your blog...you have so many insights...and this one especially touches me...God's not hard, we try to make things so complex...seems to be a recurring theme in my life especially lately. I appreciate your straightforwardness. Love-A
Posted by: Angie | Nov 16, 2008 2:13:53 AM
We can all get the blues now and then, even if life is good. How great it is to always come back to the unconditional love of God. "Underneath are the everlasting arms." Amen!
Posted by: Helen | Nov 17, 2008 1:24:29 AM