Pseudogamous Marriage

Anthony Esolen at Mere Comments, on the problem with many modern marriages:

We say aloud, "I give myself to you," but whisper to ourselves, "I retain myself for me." 

We say, to paraphrase Augustine, "Lord, marry me to this woman, but not quite." 

We engage in a convoluted and expensive pretense, complete with band and wedding cake and ring and honeymoon in Cancun, when all along we are saying, in part, "I am for myself, and for this person here only insofar as this person is for me," rather than, "I now belong to my spouse, and in my belonging to my spouse I will become myself, because it is only in giving that we receive, and only in binding ourselves to the gift that we are set free."

There's much more at that link.